Friday, September 18, 2009

Day 35 - September 18, 2009

You know that you live in L.A. when…


It was a typical afternoon. I finished watching my Soap (thanks again for getting me addicted, Steph!) and headed to the pool with my trashy celebrity autobiography in hand. My usual spot near leather-skinned yellow shorts guy was taken. Actually, yellow shorts guy has recently retired his faded, nearly see-through yellow bathing suit in favour of an orange one. Good choice, buddy! Anyway, as I was saying, my usual weekday spot was taken so I headed to my weekend chair on the other side of the pool (tough life, I know). As I approached the chair, I noticed a woman sunbathing with a piece of folded paper towel over her lips. What the heck is she doing?, I thought. And then it hit me…I live in L.A., the collagen capital of the world. A few minutes after I got settled with my book, the woman sat up in her chair and began spreading a thick coat of tanning oil on her already very bronzed skin. It was then that my suspicions were confirmed. Staring straight at me was a pair of freshly collagen-injected lips. We’re talking Octomom lips! They looked as if they could jump off her face and attack me at any moment. Luckily, I had my celebrity autobiography to defend me. Those lips had no chance with all the plastic surgery going on in this book! So, I’ll leave you with this little lesson: If you’re planning on getting your lips done, make sure you have plenty of paper towel to protect them from the sun…oh, and you may want to buy a leash for those babies while you’re at it!


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